Remaining Steadfast Through Seasons of Depression Pt. 2

In the first part of this conversation, I wrote about the way depression can try to make us feel like we are failing. It can leave us feeling alone, ashamed, unwanted, and spiritually disqualified. It can try to rename us the way grief tried to rename Naomi from pleasant to bitter. It can turn everything inward until all we can hear is accusation.

But remaining steadfast when depression hits doesn’t mean pretending we’re okay, forcing ourselves to feel joyful or ignoring the fog. Remaining steadfast begins with one question:

Where is your focus?

Fix Your Mind on Things Above

Colossians 3:1–2 tells us to seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God—not on things that are on earth.

I know how impossible that sounds when depression is heavy.

Fixing our minds on things above doesn’t mean pretending earthly things don’t hurt. It doesn’t mean ignoring grief, exhaustion, disappointment, loneliness, or pain. It means choosing the truest thing as our anchor—and that is God Himself.

For me, that reminder and choice begins by speaking aloud or journaling more about who God is and focusing less on what He has, or seemingly has not, done.

That distinction matters because when I focus only on what God has done, my depressed mind can twist even those blessings into accusations.

Why did He help me before but not now? Why did He answer that prayer but not this one? Why did He help them but not me? Why did He provide then, but I feel so empty now?

However, when I fix my mind on who God is, my eyes lift above circumstances that change and disappoint, and I remember He is the One who never changes.

He’s the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation and by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible. All things were created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

That is Colossians 1:15–17.

And Colossians 1:19–23 goes on to remind us that through Christ, God reconciled all things to Himself, making peace by the blood of His cross. It says that we, who were once alienated and hostile in mind, have now been reconciled in His body of flesh by His death, in order to present us holy and blameless and above reproach before Him—if indeed we continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel.

That is the kind of steadfastness I need when depression hits. Not a white-knuckled emotional strength, but rather a stubborn refusal to be shifted away from the hope of the gospel—even though my mind may feel unstable, and my emotions are all over the place.

Christ is still above all things, and in Him, all things hold together.

Including me.

A Small Survival List for Heavy Days

When depression hits, I don’t need a complicated plan. Complicated plans only give me more ways to feel like I failed when I don’t have the capacity to follow through.

I need simple, faithful things I already know to do.

Most importantly, I make sure to fix my mind on things above by speaking aloud or journaling who He is. Doing that lets the unchanging character of God interrupt the chaos of changing emotions.

I do things like caring for my body. I try to get proper rest, nutrition, and hygiene. I take a short nap, go to bed early, and drink lots of water. I do my best avoid sugar and highly processed foods because my body is already working hard. I take a long shower or bath, and if even that is too hard, I wash my face or brush my teeth. I do something that tells me I’m worth caring for.

And I give myself permission to let some things go undone. Work or caring for children might be unavoidable for you. Some responsibilities still have to happen. But smaller tasks can often wait, and sometimes I let them. The laundry can sit. Replying to an email can wait. The house can be imperfect. Whatever plan I had can be simplified.

Lastly, if at all possible I go outside because getting fresh air and feeling sunshine on my skin while I stand on the porch or back deck helps. Sometimes I sit in a chair and listen to the birds. It’s even better if I can manage to take a walk around the block.

None of these things are magic cures. They are small ways of agreeing that your body matters, your soul matters, and your life matters. It reminds you that you are worthy of caring for.

Asking for Help Is Not Weakness

One of the hardest parts of depression is that asking for encouragement can feel selfish.

When I’m already convinced I’m a burden, it feels wrong to ask someone to remind me that I’m not.

I know I can share my struggles with my husband, and he will often remind me of small things I’m not able to see in the moment. He reminds me that I made dinner, washed and folded laundry, spent time in prayer, or did the next right thing even when it felt small.

In a safe friendship, I was recently encouraged when a friend expressed the ways I had encouraged her and others. She reminded me of wise counsel I’d shared, knowledge about God I’d spoken, and ways my words had helped someone else.

When guilt and sadness weigh heavy I need those reminders. Not because my worth comes from what I accomplish or how useful I am to others. It absolutely does not.

I need them because depression lies. And sometimes one of the ways we fight lies is by letting someone safe help us remember what is true.

If depression has made you feel like a burden, I want you to know asking for help and support is not a weakness.

It is wisdom.

And if your depression has moved into thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, please tell someone immediately. Tell a trusted person, call a crisis line, contact a counselor, go to an emergency room, or reach out for medical help. You are not weak, selfish, or attention seeking because you need help. You are worth protecting.

A Quick Note:

If someone opens up to you and admits they are struggling, there are certain well-meaning phrases that can land painfully when someone is walking through depression.

“Count your blessings.”

“Look at all the good things you have.”

“Just be thankful.”

Those statements are 100% true. Gratitude is good. Remembering God’s gifts matters. But when depression is heavy, those phrases can accidentally become another burden. They can make a person feel guilty for not being able to feel thankful enough, joyful enough, or positive enough.

Depression obscures our ability to see clearly. It clouds our perception of the world and bends our attention toward what we don’t have, what we think we’ve lost, or what we believe we don’t deserve.

So, while gratitude has its place, I have found that in the thick of depression, I often need something even more foundational.

Please don’t start by encouraging them to be thankful to God for what He has done. Instead, remind them to stand in awe of who He is.

The God of the universe.

The Lord of all creation.

The King of Kings.

The Creator of heaven and earth.

The One who spoke, and all things came to be.

The One who holds all things together.

The One untouched by time, unchanged by events, and unthreatened by my emotions.

When I can’t see my circumstances clearly, I need to remember the One who isn’t changed by them. God’s truth is immutable. It does not change, waver, or dim.

A person’s feelings, mood, and circumstances all change.

Their energy and perceptions of events change.

God’s truth does not.

The way He defines us, loves us, and values us is constant and unconditional.

THAT’S what we need reminded of.

The Hope That Holds Me

This is the hardest part for me to say plainly, but it may be the part someone else most needs to hear.

Without my hope in a God who never changes and never leaves me; without the confidence of my salvation through grace because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus that gives me access to knowing the God of the universe personally, there have been times when my depression would very likely have led me to make a very permanent, very premature ending of my life.

I promise I don’t share that for shock value.

I share it so that you, my reader, can have hope that you are not alone in the dark of those thoughts. God has not, and will not abandon you to them.

Your value and your worth are not determined by what you do, say, or think. You have value and worth because God says you do, and He loves you with an everlasting, steadfast, unshakablelove.

Knowing and believing that doesn’t mean you and I will never need counseling. I have sought professional help several times. It doesn’t mean we will never need medication. It has been a tool for me in very dark times. It doesn’t mean prayer will make depression disappear overnight. It can take days, weeks, or months. Sometimes years.

But I am confident in one thing—no matter how long it lasts, depression is not the truest thing about me.

Christ is.

The life, death, and resurrection of Jesus are not abstract theology. They are the foundation under my feet when everything in me feels unstable.

Because of Jesus, I can come near to God even when I feel ashamed.

Because of Jesus, I can be honest about my sin without believing I’m rejected.

Because of Jesus, I can confess, cry, doubt, question, and collapse into the arms of a Father who is not surprised by my weakness.

Because of Jesus, I’m not held by my ability to hold myself together.

I am held by Him.

The Steadfast Love of the Lord

After years and years of working through depression, riding it out, fighting it, and learning to walk with God in the middle of it, I have discovered that the secret to getting through the darkest seasons is not found in my own ability to remain steady.

It is found in remembering that GOD is steady.

The Bible calls it the steadfast love of the Lord.

My love is not steadfast.

My motivation is not steadfast.

My emotions are not steadfast.

My energy is not steadfast.

My thoughts are not steadfast.

My ability to pray beautiful prayers is not steadfast.

My confidence is not steadfast.

But God is.

His love is not fragile.

His mercy is not moody.

His patience is not worn out.

His presence is not dependent on my performance.

This is what I return to when depression makes me feel like I’m failing.

Being steadfast is not about proving I’m strong enough. It is about returning, again and again, to the truth that God is strong enough when I’m not.

Holding On

If I were sitting across from you when you feel ashamed because you love God but still feel depressed, I would want to take your hand, look you in the eyes, and say this:

God is not ashamed of you.

He is not disappointed in you.

You’re not broken beyond His love.

You’re not less faithful because you’re struggling.

You don’t have to clean up your emotions before you bring them to Him.

He loves you, and He wants you to trust Him with your sadness, your numbness, your doubts, your fears, your exhaustion, your sin, your shame, and your unanswered questions.

Cry out to Him.

Tell Him the truth.

Let your prayers be messy.

Let your steps be small.

Let your faith look like opening the journal, taking the walk, reading the verse, asking for help, or simply whispering, “Lord, I’m still here.”

Remaining steadfast when depression hits doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay, and it doesn’t mean forcing yourself to feel joyful or ignoring your need for rest, counseling, medication, support, or help. It also doesn’t mean shaming yourself into productivity or reading your Bible as a quick fix so the sadness will go away.

Remaining steadfast in a season of depression means coming back to what is true when your mind is loud with lies. It’s remembering that God does not abandon His children in the valley.

It means letting God define your worth when depression tries to rename you and believing, even faintly, that the fog is not stronger than the Father.

It means trusting that when your love is not steadfast, His still is.

He is near.

He is steady.

He is faithful.

He is before all things.

And in Him, all things hold together.

Including you.

Phoenix logo, Always Hope, Michelle Bolanger

If you find value in the free content I create and want to help me create more, would you buy me a coffee?

It is an easy way to make a one time donation of any amount.

Even a couple dollars goes a long way toward helping me continue providing valuable content.