Tearing Down Idols
Back in 2023 the Lord gave me this vision:
I am standing alone on a massive, flat and smooth stone foundation. I can feel the solid strength of it under my feet. I am wearing tennis shoes, jeans, and a light t-shirt. The ground near my feet is covered in a thick layer of grey dust and fine ground stone.
I lift my eyes to look around, turning in a small circle as stunned tears fill my eyes. For miles in every direction, as far as I can see, there are piles of grey rubble. Stones have been shattered and tossed, and among them, short lengths of twisted metal shafts stick up. As if every structure, as far as I can see have collapsed, scattering the debris and rubble across the flat stone ground.
No stone that remains is larger than my head, and none suitable for stacking. They are crumbling apart, as if made of mortar instead of solid stone.
Grey dust chokes the air, making everything hazy and colorless.
But a single shaft of light falls on me from directly overhead. I look away from the destruction around me and down to the clothes I am wearing.
They are clean and free of any dust. Where the small circle of light hits the ground around my feet, there is no debris, and the light glimmers off the slab of white granite that I know stretches in every direction under the destruction.
The meaning of the vision is this:
For 20 years, from the time I came to stand on the solid stone Foundation called Christ, I built the structure of my Christian life using someone else’s plans, materials, and methods. I built a life and set the rhythm for my faith by relying on other people’s vision for my life. I trusted them to know what God wanted for me because they had known the Lord longer, and they were in a position of authority over me.
After committing my life to Him, I was desperate to know Jesus, and in my desire to know Him, I blindly followed another human who seemed to know so much more about God and what it meant to be His follower than I did. I allowed this human to define what my walk with Him should look like. I ended up confused, depressed, anxious, and oppressed.
Thankfully, my God is a jealous God, and He will not allow anyone else to sit on the throne of my life. And so, He moved me out from under that person’s authority and tore down every structure that was not built by Him in my life. Every piece of framework I had put up to support and shape the structure and rhythm of my faith was left lying in rubble around me.
The moment I realized my mistake in allowing myself to be lead astray, the moment I chose denounce the one who had become my idol, He destroyed all of the walls I’d built. He shielded me from the flying debris and dirt as he tore down the false cathedral I’d constructed. As I saw in the vision, I was clean, standing on the immovable, unshakable Rock that is the faith I originally placed in Jesus Christ 30 some years ago.
And now, several years after sifting through the destruction, the last of the ruins have to be cleared away. I thought I could move the worst of it, sweep the smaller debris aside, and begin to build new walls that would block out the rest of the crumbled buildings’ remains.
But that is not what the Lord will allow. If I am to build the City of my faith the way He wants it built, NOTHING of the old can remain. God has no interest in rebuilding from tainted ruins. No. He wants nothing that was tainted by the idolatry of my past.
So heavy is this requirement on my heart, it is bleeding into the things I brought into this house from our old home. Some things will stay, but there are far too many unfinished projects, hobbies, and distractions I once used to disassociate from life for a time. Even things I’ve kept as sentimental pieces from childhood and family have become weights holding me back. Many of the stories and characters I created and wrote have to go. Saying goodbye to those worlds is hard, but necessary.
I am gaining a new understanding of what He has planned for the talents He has given me, and He wants me to make a fresh start. Perhaps one day I will be able to return to some of the words I wrote, but for now I have to make space for the new words He is filling me with. HIS words.
The final cleanup is scheduled for the rest of this year. I am spending this time deep in His word, learning not to rely on the work and teachings of others, though they certainly have their place, I can no longer give them FIRST place.
I am learning to operate in the image of the One of whom I was created, and I am learning to let Him create something new in me and through me.
Exodus 20:1-6 - And God spoke all these words, saying, “I Am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
Things to Think About:
Is there something from your past God is calling you to let go of?
What would it look like to move forward without that holding you back?
Playlist:
Jericho - Andrew Ripp
Hidden Places - Vertical Worship